are full

i'd love to sink.
to dream,
to finally let

                                         my

breath run out of me,
to let my                                 lungs

shrink to stones and
shrivel
and then expand
again, expecting air-
but instead
they                                     are


filled with blue
and
i drown, let
my head dip under
the surface,
to be                                      full

of stillness

and calmness
and maybe then
i'll get to
sleep